You’ve decided to try out a long distance relationship. Now, the question is: how can you make it work?

Comparing a long distance relationship to a relationship closer in proximity, has some similarities, but definitely has more differences. Ultimately, a LDR requires a lot more work and commitment that, if showcased right, can be the best thing for your relationship, making it the strongest it can be.

In both types of relationships, we know that it involves two individuals brought together by love and they work to build a future together. This case is the same for a LDR, just with a lot more effort. This effort includes all day calls, rescheduling, and so on. Not to mention, 120% commitment.

In a study done at Buena Vista University, Arielle C. Butler  and Wind Goodfriend analyzed the differences between LDR and what they identify as Proximal Relationships (PR), in terms of satisfaction, intimacy, trust, and commitment levels within these relationships. “It was found that people in LDRs showed no difference than people in PRs in any of these variables…” 

I found this to be quite interesting because when I had asked people their perspective on LDRs majority of them assumed that there would be a difference in intimacy, due to the lack of physical connection. From my personal experience, I have actually found that the distance has increased the strength in our relationship. We admire each other over the simplest things, from a single text to watching a Netflix show at the same time where we aren’t even talking much. “Results showed that the longer partners in a LDR wait to see each other, the greater the communication and admiration within the relationship.” 

Butler and Goodfriend actually concluded that “LDRs are better off than PRs…” which is most likely due to the fact that LDRs appreciate more since they are apart, whereas in a PR you tend to forget how important those little factors are. 

In another study, comparing LDRs and PRs, it was identified that LDRs are more intimate with each other, which is “driven by two tendencies: long-distance couples disclosed themselves more, and they idealized their partner’s behaviors.” Being more open and appreciative with your long distance partner has resulted from all the effort to communicate as often as possible to “overcome the media constraints.” 

For my relationship, we try to communicate as often as possible, with work and school and can get a little hectic, but we’ve managed to adjust our schedules to make time for each other, seeing our communication as a necessity in our daily lives.

I have many friends who find themselves seeing their partner everyday and it tends to take more of a tull on their relationship. Since they don’t have the experience of not seeing their partner for more than a given day, they don’t have as much strength as someone in a LDR because they don’t always realize what they have in their relationship, such as seeing each other whenever, dates, and so on. A LDR solely relies on communication. 

There are key elements to making a LDR work, as easy as possible. These should not only be heavily enforced in a LDR relationship, but in all relationships if you want them to last. For a LDR, it requires a lot more effort in these elements, which are:

• Be honest.
• Be open.
• Be 120% commitment.
• Don’t cheat (physically or not).
• Make a plan/plan for the future.
• Always know when you’ll see each other next.
• Be forgiving.
• Be hopeful.
• Encourage each other.

It’s as simple as that. Key elements for all relationships, just heavily increased in a LDR b cause if the division that is there, but with three you can easily get past it.